Finding Motivation

It's been a while since I've blogged about running.
Honestly, there hasn't been much to blog about.

I don't like making excuses, but that is exactly what I've been doing.
I've basically been living in a state of denial.
For some reason, I had it in my brain that I really didn't need to run while in the process of moving. My last move (from Nebraska to California fall of 2010) I didn't run during the entire 3 weeks of the stressful move. It was a short time off, and I was too stressed about a near-cross country road trip alone with a toddler during the winter. So when I was settled in California, I picked up right where I left off. I'm not going to lie & say I wasn't sore, but it was just the soreness of waking up tired muscles.

So for some reason I thought my "return" to running after this move would be just as easy. I use the term "return" loosely. I ran off and on during the move, but I was very unmotivated & did not run on the level I was used to or the level I should have been running at. Especially if I want to run a half marathon in the spring. Plus, this move took a lot longer than the last one. 5 months is a long time to not run regularly.

I am now settled in the house & have no excuse to not be running.
& yet, I am finding excuses.

My main excuse is a simple one;
I lack the motivation to get up & run.
You'd think I'd want to rebuild the muscle mass I've lost.
You'd think I'd want to lose the weight I've gained in the past half year.
& I do...I just don't want to do the work.
I've just been living in a state of denial & misery.

So this past week I've had a heart-to-heart with myself. No more pity parties. No more excuses.
I'm just going to make the time & force myself out the door.
Motivation will surely turn up eventually, right?

Today I went for my first real run.
I'd been pumping myself up for it all week.
& getting myself ready for the shock that would be a timed run outside. No treadmill to soften the blow, no easy, watch-less jog about the neighbourhood.
A track workout.
With a watch.

Of course I happened to chose the coldest day we've had this week, and of course the freezing rain picked up on my way to the track, but I got out there, I got it done, and I had motivation. I was actually looking forward to running. Whoa! Where did that come from?

& I wasn't too shocked with my timing.
It was actually better than I expected, but I'm still a long ways from where I need to be.
Hopefully this newfound motivation sticks around. I need to rebuild what I once had & get rid of this extra weight I've been carrying around. I don't just want it, I need it.
It really helps that I have found such an amazing running community on twitter, everyone is full of encouraging words.

x Jenna

P.S. I highly recommend Under Armour charged cotton gear. Even in the cold I was very warm, and although it's not 100% water proof, it helped tremendously in keeping me dry. It poured during my entire track workout as well as the jog to the track & back to the house.